Where is the banter?

Geordie Sarah · **Joined:** Tue Dec 11, 2007 3:19 am **Posts:** 192

A pint to the person who posts the most offensive joke.

LauraM · **Joined:** Tue Dec 11, 2007 12:14 pm **Posts:** 35

I don't where the banter is. I looked everywhere, even under the bed, and couldn't find it. I don't even have an offensive joke. Fuckin' boo!

However, I did just go to Debenhams, where I discovered they are selling red flamenco party dresses! Fuck yeah! They're by Pearce Fionda, and there isn't a pic of them online becasue they're limited edition. And a snip at only £250(!) I think we should try them on en masse, and then stamp about in the evening wear fitting room.

...

Yup.

McMeeks xx:-)

charlie · **Joined:** Thu Jan 03, 2008 7:41 pm **Posts:** 114

This offensive enough?

What's the best way to paint a Mercedes red?
Di it.

Guest · **Posted:** Sat Oct 25, 2008 2:31 pm

According to statistics, 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.

Yes I will remain anonymous! Though I did steal that joke from someone else in the society...

charlie · **Joined:** Thu Jan 03, 2008 7:41 pm **Posts:** 114

Right, I'm not going to take credit for any of these, cause *I* find some of them offensive!

http://www.beamused.me.uk/page982.htm

Now, don't say I didn't warn you...

But here's some more I know...

What's the difference between a pile of sand and a pile of dead babies?
You can't move a pile of sand with a pitchfork!

What did the the hot-dog seller at the bottom of the world trade centre say?
Who ordered the 2 jumbos?

What's the difference between a plastic bag and Michael Jackson?
One is white, made of plastic, and should be kept away from small children.

---------------

And my personal favourite joke - but not offensive...

How do you fit an elephant in a safeway carrier bag?
You take the S out of safe, and the F out of way...
hehe....

ride my Brycycle · **Joined:** Tue Oct 28, 2008 12:50 am **Posts:** 1

this deserves to win...

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Andrew · **Posted:** Tue Oct 28, 2008 3:41 pm

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a lightbulb?

To get to the other side.

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Did you hear about the look-a-like competition in China?

Everybody won.

-------------------

Little Johnny is in the bath with his Dad when he says, "Daddy, why is my willy different from yours?"

His Dad replies, "Well, for a start, son, yours isn't erect."

---------------------

Police are investigating the bigger picture of Mark Speight's death.

It was sent in by 11 year old Susie from Reading.

--------------------

I had a mate who was suicidal.

He was really depressed, so I pushed him in front of a steam train.

He was chuffed to bits.

---------------------------

What's white on top and black on bottom?

Society.

--------------------------

A man walks into a petrol station and says, "Can I please have a KitKat Chunky?"

The lady behind the till gets him a KitKat Chunky and brings it back to him.

"No," says the man, "I wanted a normal KitKat, you fat bitch."

------------------------------

A family are driving behind a garbage truck when a dildo flies out and thumps against the windscreen.

Embarrassed, and to spare her young son's innocence, the mother turns around and says, "Don't worry; that was an insect."

To which, her son replies, "I'm surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that."

---------------------------------

I was reading in the paper today about this dwarf that got pickpocketed.

How could anyone stoop so low?

amyg · **Joined:** Fri Jan 11, 2008 3:28 pm **Posts:** 48

Jesus and Moses were out sailing for the day. Jesus said to Moses:

"Moses my friend, it has always impressed me the way you parted the sea that time, I mean, really, it was awesome. Is there any chance you'd do it again now, just for me?"

and Moses said:

"Aw Jesus, that's very kind of you. As you asked so nicely, and you're such an all-round nice chap, I will do it just for you"

And Moses stood up in the boat and parted the sea. Then he turned to Jesus and said:

"But hang on a minute Jesus, I may have parted the sea, but what about that time you walked on water? Now *that* was awesome. How about showing me that?"

So Jesus stepped out of the boat to walk on the water. But he immediately sank. Coughing and spluttering he hauled himself back into the boat and said:

"I just don't understand it Moses, it worked last time"

to which Moses replied:

"Ah but Jesus, you didn't have those holes in your feet last time..."

Craig · **Posted:** Thu Oct 30, 2008 1:59 pm

Geordie Sarah wrote:

A pint to the person who posts the most offensive joke.

Well you did ask for offensive...
*hangs head in shame* lol

(taken from gumsc forum)

charlie · **Joined:** Thu Jan 03, 2008 7:41 pm **Posts:** 114

What's worse than sending your kids to a sleepover with Michael Jackson?
Sending them on holiday with the McCanns...

What's worse than sending your kids on holiday with the McCanns?
Bath time at Ian Huntley's...

I shouldn't have gone there... Sorry :oops:

The Cecilian Society

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